Day 111: Freezing Cold

Floral dress, green sweater, TOMS.
As you can tell, Im having some technical difficulties trying to get these pictures on the blog. Theyll be up shortly.
You can also tell that Im having weather difficulties. Yes, it is 50 degrees outisde and Im wearing a dress. Everybody keeps asking me if Im cold. I dont know what they expect me to sat when they ask such a question, because Im obviously cold. Are they dumb? Apparently.

Day 110: Awkward

     Patterned flowy top, jean shorts, TOMS, grey bandeau.
     So, after what I'm about to tell you you will never trust me again.
     Allow me to explain:
     I made varsity.  It was a last minute change and I was so close to not making it that it was so unbelievable.  But I made it.  Yay Maddy!
     So my melodramatic rant was pretty much for nothing.  My apologies.
   

Day 109: Disappointment

     Green shirt, white beandeau, floral skirt, sandals.
     Well, I worked my butt of for three weeks inside and outside of the pool. I got up at 4:45am to do morning practices and stayed up until 3:00am after my post-school practices to keep up with my grades. It was three weeks of me trying my hardest, losing 8 pounds, and getting as fast as I could be.
     In the end, my best wasnt good enough.
     I didnt make varsity swimming. Im a junior in high school that cant make varsity at a sport that Ive been swimming for a decade.
     The thing that stings is that I was so close. Coach picked the top 4 swimmers from each event and I was number 5. Of course.
     And its not like I have a whole lot going for me. I mean, I have this blog. Its not like I have a boyfriend to fall back on though. I mean with my stellar qualities you would think I have 6 of them right? Wrong. I dont. I have a dog that I cuddle with occasionally, depending on his mood. I have food to confide in. That always manages to make me feel better.
     Basically, Im heartbroken. Im the joke of the aquatics team. This should be an interesting season. Stay tuned.

Day 108: Blisters

     Steve Madden boots, black shorts, patterned shirt.
   
Blisters are the shortened term for a patch of skin that has been rubbed so much that the friction has caused the skin to rise and the space in between is filled by body fluid. Pretty gross right? And blisters hurt. The fluid is supposed to help the pain, but it still hurts. They slowly heal but they always leave a scar, no matter how much you try to ignore the blemish and leave it alone.
The reason you have the blister in the first place is because you were working hard to acheive something, and that hurtful blister got in the way.
If you poke and prod at the senstive spot, the pain intensifies and agrivates it. More pain.
The pain wont go away for a long time. You have to deal with the constant nagging and throbbing. No matter how hard you try, it will always be there too.
We arent talking anout blisters anymore...

Day 107: Waterworks

Black shirt, salmon bandeau, jeans, sandals.
If we all collectivly sang our way through life, the world would be such a beautiful place. It would be filled with song and dance and a great way to feel emotions. Maybe thats just the drama queen in me speaking, because I do love deep ballads. I think that if everyone was as emotional as me, though, everyone would be crying all the time. Maybe happy tears, maybe sad. But that would be a lot of water, and thats a lot to handle.
My future husband better come with a Shamwow on his shoulder, because I have a lot of tears to soak up...

Day 106: Happy Lent To You ALL

Yellow shirt, jeans, TOMS.
Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. And for all you Christians out there, get ready for 40 days of pure temptation. What are you giving up this year? Im giving up soda. Soda is my coping mechanism, so we'll see how the next month pans out. But sometimes we just have to make sacrifices. Lent is a good way to remember what is important and nessacary in life.
This period of time is meant to be celebrated because Jesus gave up his life for us, so we can sacrifice a little bit of our lives for him. We're pathetic compared to him and what he did for us.
Im not trying to shove religion down anyones throats. Basically, I just want to give my beliefs. I know that Jesus died for us and that he is the way to happiness and eternal life. If I kept that to myself, that would be selfish of me.

Day 105: Traffic School

     JCrew jacket, black dress, Lucky Brand belt.
     Eight hours is a long time.  Do you know what you can do in eight hours?  Lots of things.  You can watch Titanic... twice.  You can plot and commit a stealthy murder.  You can go to prom and have a before and after party.
     There are so many productive or entertaining things you can do in eight hours.  It would be a shame to waste them.  On Saturday I spent eight hours doing something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
     Traffic school.
     Truly the biggest waste of time I've ever experienced.  It was basically an eight hour course on how to avoid cops.  I was the youngest person there by about 50 years.  I ate lunch by myself.  I was forced to do traffic school because I got a ticket.  I don't really want to talk about that though.
     I don't really remember anything the traffic instructor said, but who cares its not like I'm being tested on it.  I spent the duration of the hour with a black pen in my hand giving myself a tattoo sleeve.  It was a work of art. I also napped on accident.
     I suggest never having to do traffic school.  Do it online if you do have to do traffic school.  It was absolutely awful.

Day 104: Overly Suspicious

     Italy Jacket, jeans, TOMS.
     Be proud of yourself and your heritage. Happy heritage day everyone. Im partly Italian, so there you go. I saw a couple of people with leafblowers and rice hats. A day that is completely politically incorrect. I applaud you student body.

Day 103: Valentines Day

     American flag shirt, jean jacket, blue tube skirt, tights, TOMS.
     Another Valentines Day spent by myself.  I'm convinced that half of the world loves this holiday, and the other world hates it and then ends up hating the people who love it.  Haters gonna hate.
     Valentines Day is a holiday meant to celebrate love for another person or multiple persons.  I personally think love is a personal thing.  Nowadays with the technology that we have access to, it has become a day of pure competition to see which couple can out-do the others in LOVE.
     Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook have blown up with pictures of chocolates, teddy bears, and candies.  Throughout the day, as the competition gets heated, posts go from: "Aww I love this holiday <3" to "OHMYGOSH I HAVE THE BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD, MY VALENTINES DAY WAS BETTER THAN YOURS".  It happens, you think I'm lying.  Guess who won that round?
     I spent Valentines Day without a boyfriend, but instead with my family and a slice of chocolate cake.  I had a neutral day.
     I cant wait until the day I can have a Valentine of my very own.  Someone I can share my love with personally and deeply.  One day Ill have a Valentine.  Until then, Ill be cuddling with my dog tonight watching Conan O'Brien finishing my homework.  Happy Valentines Day.

Day 102: Giants Live On

     Giants jersey.
     Happy Hoopla week!  The week at Monte Vista that allows yet another spirit week for yet another sport. This time around, its Basketball.  Today was jersey day, and you were allowed to sport whichever jersey you liked, basketball or not.  As everyone with a pulse should know, I'm a massive Giants fan, so naturally, I wore a Giants jersey.  I've got to represent my team.
     My dream job is to be an actress, but if a genie came up to me right now and told me I had three wishes, one of them would be for me to be the announcer lady who says all of the names of the Giants players before they go up to bat.  If you have ever been to a Giants game, you know who I'm talking about.  The other two wishes would be marry David Beckham, and eternal wishes.  Pretty generic wishes.

Day 101: True Beauty

     Blue dress, black sandals, grey necklace.
     The other day I was at swim practice.  Swimming in the water requires you to wear a swim suit, as if that clarification was needed.
     We were sprinting that day, so I was out of the water and on the pool deck for quite some time.  A girl came up to me who I know, but I wouldn't say we are anything more than acquaintances.  She looked me up and down and pointed at me hip and asked, "Whats that?".  I looked down perplexed.  I looked back up at her and she said, "I think its really pretty."
     I have a skin condition called Vitiligo.  What happens is that my skin cells don't agree with the cells that create pigment in my skin, so they disappear completely and the spot turns white and spreads at the sight.  My body is a blotchy mess.  I have these white spots all over my body and they will continue to spread for the rest of my life.  I try to stay out of the sun as much as possible because tanning makes the spots more apparent.  It does not harm me at all, and I am so lucky that there is nothing truly wrong with me.  These spots mock me though.  They make me feel ugly and self-conscience.  I'm so scared they will be an issue with the career I want to go to, or that it will eventually spread further on my face.
     So when this girl came up to me thinking they were pretty... I finally understood the meaning of "beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
     I'm so glad I had this experience.  She turned my true weakness into something of beauty and admiration in a way.  Something to be proud of.  A different perspective.
     I'm so glad that happened.

Day 100: Yes, It Has Been That Many Days

     Bill Cosby sweater, ugly-yellow shirt, TOMS.
     Hello Day 100, Its nice to finally see you.  Horray for commitment to something long term!
     Have you ever been so sore and aching that's its difficult to breath?  That was rhetorical.  I'm just going to tell you what I was originally going to say.
     Its nearing the end of Week One of swim team and every part of my body is aching down to my toenails.   But the truth is, it'll probably be worth it in the end.  Not to mention its my choice and I have complete control over the fact that I swim voluntarily.
     Ive been competitively swimming for an entire decade, that's what I call commitment.
     My parents have been married for twenty years.  That's a long time tolerating one person.  Commitment.
     The trouble with doing things long term is that you are easily bored of the task.  For me, even finishing a tall glass of milk is tough to stick to for me.  Thank you to those who read this blog and motivate me to follow through with this commitment that I have made to myself.
     100 days, that's a lot of days of school.  Keep up the good work kiddos.

Day 99: Take Me or Leave Me

     Green sweater, pink v-neck, jeans, Uggs.
     Ninety-nine days later, I sit here in front of my computer searching for something to write.  Ive done 99 posts about so many things.
     We are more then halfway through the school year and it doesn't get any easier or harder to write.  Its just a continuous thing I have to do everyday.  The issue with writing is that it isn't a solid formation.  Like in math for example, 2 + 2 will always equal 4, it doesn't change according to what mood you are in.  Writing flows so freely and uniquely.
     I'm kind of a bummer of a person.  I don't say very many happy things.  Writing conveys what I'm actually trying to express.
     I also tend to be a person that gets excited about projects and gives up, but look at this blog!  I'm going strong!
     Maybe I'm not the person I thought I was.  And I live with myself... Sometimes I don't know how I live with myself.  I'm lazy, I whine a lot, I'm annoying.  I have redeeming qualities, sure, but I whip those out only when necessary.  I'm my own person, take me or leave me.  I'm not going to change for anybody or pretend to be something I'm not.  I would just feel silly.  So whether I'm smiling, frowning, laughing, crying, Ill always be me.  I wouldn't ever let someone get in the way of that.

Day 98: Food, Glorious Food

     Floral shirt, beige shorts, slippers.
     Everybody needs food to live.  It just a fact.  You can go without food for a while if that's what you choose, but eventually your body will shut down and you will die.
     Sure, some food is more healthy then other foods, but food is food.
     I LOVE food.
     I know that I shouldn't eat two cheeseburgers a week, or drink soda every day, or eat all of the chocolate chip cookies that mock me on the kitchen counter and then blame it on Gary when somebody notices they're gone... But I do.
     My favorite restaurant:  McDonald's.  My favorite sweet:  Cheesecake.  My favorite thing to do when there is nothing to do:  Eat.  Eating all of this stuff is bad for me, but its my choice.  The government wants to put age restrictions on sugar.  Like cigarettes or alcohol, cause, ya know, eating food is apparently too addicting for children to handle.  Not.  I'm a teenager and Ive got to eat.  If I go to the store and am unable to buy a Snickers bar, congressmen better sleep with one eye open.
     Ive learned to eat things in moderation, because eating food that you like is healthy for the soul.  Don't count your calories or beat yourself up about that bowl of ice cream, because you deserve that pleasure.  Eat that ice cream with pride!
     I once went on a diet.  It lasted 20 minutes.  Those were the most miserable minutes of my life.
     Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you shouldn't eat as freely as I do now, but it seems to be working for me.  So my arteries are clogged, bring on the steak!

Day 97: Trendy

     Blue patterned shirt, jeans, TOMS, headband.
     When I look at my parents pictures from the ancient times, I think to myself: "Self, how could anyone think that these trends were trendy?".  There have been some pretty nasty trends.  Just take the 1990's for example.  It was considered in-style to wear solid colors, bulky/baggy clothes, and never shower.
     Sometimes I wonder who starts trends.  I mean, fashion magazines report trends, but how do they know what the people will like?
     This is the kind of stuff I sit around and wonder about.  If I applied such diligent concentration to something useful, I may have cured cancer by now.  I live with general distraction by wondering about everything.
     Like right now.

Day 96: The Big Day

     Blue velvet shirt, Nike dri-fit capris, tennis shoes. Casual wear as I call it.
     Well, tomorrow is the big day. Swim practice starts tomorrow and so do most other sports at Monte Vista. Its pretty much the day that starts 8-10 weeks of pure hell every single day after school. And just when I was starting to do well with my grades... Its fine, Ill keep up with those, the thing Im concerned about is sleep. Ill have morning practice twice a week from now on and that is a whole lot of no sleeping. That means that at 4:45 Ill be heading to school to work out. Whats unfortunate about that, is that teachers dont care and wont cut you any slack. Ill probably fall asleep in class. A lot.
     Sports are good for you though, good for the soul. Soaking up Vitamin D and working your muscles. Sprinting and being sore. Constant pain from joints being overused. Iceing injuries.
     But seriously, sports are fun and the experience is what you make it, so lets make this the best 2012 spring sports season Mustangs! Good luck.

Day 95: Down With Pity Parties!

     Capri jeans, grey scarf, purple tank, sparkly shirt, sweater, TOMS.
     Ive got to stop wearing TOMS. I mean, they are a great shoe, but I wear them practically every day. I guess I could wear boots, but I only have the one pair. And sandals are a spring fashion. Guess Im stuck with the TOMS.
     Being left out is the worst feeling. It makes you feel as if you arent gokd enough and sometimes can be a slap in the face. Especially when everyone else is included and you arent. Or when you were supposed to be included, but things changed. I have a tendency to feel sorry for myself, and being left out of situations puts me down. Not to worry though, I have other friends that include me after that. It sucks a lot to be discluded but in the end you have to suck it up and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
     No more pity parties, you hear me?

Day 94: Grades!

     Jeans, TOMS, striped sweater, grey bandeau.
     Report cards came today.  In the town where I come from, some kids get up to $500 because their parents are proud of their grades.  I mean, I get a good old pat on the back, but that's nice too I guess.

Day 93: Stripes

     Grey striped sweater, yellow skirt, TOMS.
     As Spongebob Squarepants said, "The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time."  He is right my friends.  Stripes are in this season.  Wide horizontal stripes.  Everyone always tries to steer clear of stripes in all because its been said that stripes make you look fat.  If you're going shopping for the spring season and run across any stripes, you can avoid looking wide, trust me.  Try big stripes rather then small ones, that way the numbers are fewer and the length in shortened.
     Spring season already?  I swear to you that Santa just came down my chimney what felt like last week.  I love spring colors though.  And I'm not going to miss my chance to show my colors.
     Be as bright as you can coming up this season.  Get noticed and have fun with your wardrobe!