Day 92: Never Sleep Again

     Winter shirt, jeans, TOMS.
     This weekend I watched Paranormal Activity 3.  Long story short, I haven't slept in 3 days.
     The thing about scary movies is that they make you jump and question whats real and what isn't.  You get over it eventually, however, and move on with your life.
     I'm convinced Ill never sleep again.
     Paranormal Activity 3 was a fantastic movie, it should win an award.  It successfully scared the crap out of me.  There were a couple of aspects that made it so frightening.  One of which was that it was filmed on a handheld camera and was acted out as a home movie.  That meant no sound affects, so everything you saw and heard seemed so genuine that it could have been real life.  Second, all of the scary parts took place in the dead of night when you were fast asleep.  I'm sorry, I like going to bed comfortably knowing Ill wake up the next morning.  I no longer have that luxury.  Lastly, the family in the movie had 2 sisters that shared a room with each other.  I have a sister that I share a room with.  They were practically tortured.  That hit was a little personal.
     I'm always the last person awake in my house, so now I find myself singing or talking to myself in order to distract from the fact that I think a demon is going to possess me.
     In conclusion, go see Paranormal Activity 3.












 

Day 91: Test, Test, 1 2 3

     See her?  That's what my outfit was supposed to look like.  I ended up looking like a fifth grader dressing like Peter Pan at school.  I don't want to talk about it.  We all make mistakes.  We learn from mistakes.  I learned something.  I learned to avoid any type of fictional character inspiration.
      Everything is a test.  All your life you take tests, maybe without even realizing it.  Those are the easy tests.  Like interviews, or chores.  The tests that are the worst are the ones where you are directly told that you are taking a test.  A test is a span of time where you are judged by your work, and when you try hard and your work isn't good enough, you fail.  Failure is the worst.  It means that whatever you were tested in was a complete waste of time.
     To get into college, you have to take the SAT or the ACT.  These are tests that are made specifically to trick your mind into failing.  Basically, you have to beat the system.  You have to take a single test that is supposed to be the measure of your entire intelligence.  The test determines what colleges think of you.  You know, because clearly scores on one test really says a lot about a person.  People prepare for months for these tests.  I, however, plan on doing my best and dealing with the result.  I'm not a dumb kid, Ill go to college and be fine.
   

Day 90: HALFWAY

     Patterned top, capri jeans, TOMS, grey sweater.
     Guess what today is?...  WERE HALFWAY THROUGH THE SCHOOL YEAR PEOPLE!!
     So basically, you have to all of the days you already went though all over again.  Have fun!
     I'm giving myself a relaxed blog day, considering I have to brainstorm a whole new set of nifty ideas for this thing.

Day 89: The Small Room...

     Black shirt, purple bandeau, jeans, blue TOMS, freaky fur jacket.
     The doctors office is supposed to be a safe place that's purpose is to make you feel better.  I would imagine that most kids my age still have an issue with the doctor because when your are young, the tendency to be afraid is much greater.  So walking into a small room that is too cold and then being stabbed with a needle doesn't leave a great impression on a small child.
     When I walked in that white-walled room, nothing had changed.  Maybe the room seemed a little smaller, but my fear remained constant.
     When my physical was done, I made the mistake of thinking I was safe.  My doctor double checked his handy-dandy folder and it turns out that I needed a shot.
     I tried so desperately to talk my way out of it.  I bribed the nurse, I told them I was allergic to shots... But apparently the first one isn't legal, and I'm not allergic to shots.  I knew it was coming.  My dad handed my the New York Times and told me to do the crossword, as if I'm smart enough to do the crossword.  Good one Gary.  I'm sweating bullets at this point, and I feel lightheaded.  The nurse probably thought I was having a schizophrenic attack because I kept grabbing her and yelling things that sounded like nonsense.
     After doing everything except a commiting a felony to stop the needle going into my arm, it happened.  After calming down, I went outside to claim my princess stickers.
     The sticker tray said take one, but I took two.  Take THAT doctors office.

Day 88: Hop on the Bandwagon

     Blue blouse, grey vest shrug, dark washed jeans, Steve Madden boots.

     When I was a child I went to Giants games constantly.  It was my favorite place in the whole world to be. I love the sport, and the environment; I love the garlic fries and the cotton candy; I love the stinky fans and the sticky floors.  Ive been a hard-core fan my whole life.  One of my requirements of marrying my husband is that he is going to have to be a Giants fan.  Basically, I'm a fan.

     I went to games for my birthday for a couple of years.  They never won a game on my birthday.  Yet I continue to go.  One year they did win on my birthday.  In fact, they ended up winning the World Series that year.  Can you imagine how quickly that bandwagon caught fire.  Fans are good, they're good.  But sometimes I just want people to understand that I was a fan and loved them through their loses.  

     Anyone catch the 49ers game?  They lost, but can you imagine what that would have been like if they won?  I mean, baseball is like child's-play compared to football.  Fans would erupted.  Well, they lost, so the Bay Area is safe for another year.

     Bandwagoning is obnoxious.  I wouldn't call liking a team and cheering them on "bandwagoning".  Its the people who take it to the next level and brag about their team to others when you know that a year ago they treated that team as the butt of the joke.  It makes them look dumb.  I don't like looking dumb, but maybe that's just me or something.

     I get it though, people need something to be proud of.  Possibly because of the lack of parental love they earned as children.  Woah, I'm judgemental.

Day 87: Moist.

     Yoga pants, blue velvet shirt.
     A new week means new goals.
     My goal for this week is to smile as much as possible.  The sun is most certainly not shining which means  the lack of Vitamin D in our systems is slowly driving us to the brink of insanity.  The rain only makes things not only ominous, but also moist.  Nobody likes being moist.  It just sounds miserable...
     Smiling is only a temporary solution, but its worth a shot.

Day 86: Wikipedia

     Nike pants, red fluffy socks, plain t-shirt.

     Tonight was my last day of all-out study time.  I don't know why I continue to study, I lost my concentration three days ago.

     According to Wikipedia, 88% of new years resolutions are never fulfilled.  Ive already forgotten mine, I guess I'm normal.

     Wikipedia is perhaps the greatest website ever.  Its at least a close second to Google.

     I got ridiculed for so many years for being an avid user of Wikipedia, and when the blackout occurred a few days ago, Twitter blew up with everyone talking about such a terrible inconvenience.  So make fun of me all you want, I'm resourceful.

     Wikipedia is often criticized for its "lack of accuracy" seeing that anyone can go on their website and type in whatever they want.  Well my friends, while this may be true, I don't think that people are going to spend their time on the Photosynthesis page of Wikipedia making jokes.  Celebrities, maybe; Biology, probably not.

Day 85: Comfort

     Monte Vista t-shirt, pajama pants.
     Look at how much I could care less.  Let this be a lessen to all of you:  never care during finals week.  Comfort is far more important.

Day 84: T-SHIRT TIME!

     "Invisible Children" T-shirt, jeans, TOMS, circle scarf, heart sweater.
     As the very classy men from the popular television show the Jersey Shore would say: ITS T-SHIRT TIME!
     This week is finals week, which means I'm not going to be super willing to get up out of bed and go on with living life, since my life has been nothing but studying, so I'm dubbing this weeks theme T-SHIRTS.  Not to mention its pajama week at school so its a double win.
     T-shirts can make a huge fashion statement.  There are millions of t-shirts, and they all have a certain statement.  Though they are simple and underestimated, you can style them to make them trendy and original turning a dull t-shirt into a high-fashion outfit.  Match one with a sleek shirt or a scarf and a cute pair of boots.  Your old camp t-shirt will be a bold outfit in no time!
     Finals are important and so is school and I am going to work as hard as possible to get good grades.  But what happens after high school?  Even after college?  We go into the real world.  We exercise our rights.  Our rights are something that we are born with, and they are slowly being taken away by the government, the people that we voted in to PROTECT our rights.  Do me a favor, fight for your rights.  Congress is currently trying to pass two bills that will censor the Internet and put regulations on American businesses that will limit what we are allowed to do on our own.  If you are passionate about preserving your rights, sign Google's petition to let Congressmen know what you think of these bills: https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/ .  Start small, it will end up making a big difference.

Day 83: Sixteen

Sea foam green cardigan, grey shirt, black leggings, Steve Madden boots.
As the semester draws closer and closer to an end, its reminding me of all the other "ends" that seem so fast approaching. After this year, I will be a senior in high school, going off to college before I know it. Ill be far away from home with nothing but the invention of the telephone allowing me to hold my sanity. The comfort I feel in my life right now is so desirable. I honestly can say that I wish I could stay sixteen forever.

Day 82: The Studying is Getting to My Head

     Black sweater, flower shirt, purple tank top, grey belt, TOMS.
     There are awkward list of trinkets that I continue ti add to of all of the little things I want to get either as a gift or a little treat to myself, but they are so quirky that I need to write them down to make it seem like I'm completely serious.
     This list includes things like Cherry Twizzlers, princess coloring books, holiday-themed earrings, politically incorrect books with equally politically incorrect titles (my favorite in my possession is Stuff White People Like... What, can I say that?  Yes I can, I can say whatever I want, its America), and most importantly:  the Shamwow.
     The Shamwow is a super absorbent cloth that can pick up a crazy amount of water.  I have no idea how well it would work, but I want to test it out and play with the thing.  Maybe even make my own commercial showing off the product.  I bet if I submitted that commercial, they would use it.  I'm very persuasive, that product would sell fast.
     Maybe I could be a salesperson if this whole acting thing falls through.  Ehh, who am I kidding, Ill probably just end up being a mom in the suburbs.
     I accept it.

Day 81: I Dream of...

     Purple shirt, grey courds, TOMS, phat earrings.
     Apparently having extremely vivid dreams isn't very usual, but in my case it is very much a reality.  In fact, my reality is in fact my dreams.
     Most people like to go to bed to escape the weights of the day.  When I go to bed, I brace myself for the dreams that I have to endure.  My dreams are scewed replicas of my day, which is extremely haunting.  All I want is to dream of ponies and rainbows like a normal person, but instead I dream of math class, dilemmas of the day, and random objects I see that stick in my mind somehow.
     I suppose that maybe my creativity has completely disintegrated leaving me to dream about nothing of any importance.  This is possible, but the more likely reason is that my brain has turned to melted jello due to studying every night for the past three nights, all night. Today, I caught myself staring at a ficus for seven straight, uninterrupted minutes.  I don't know how that all started, but as I said, my mushy cranium has made me certifiably disturbed.
     The worst part is, I know Ill be dreaming about that ficus in my slumber.

Day 80: Inspiration, or Fatigue?

     Green sweater, sparkly shirt, jeans, TOMS.
     Do something you wouldn't normally do tomorrow.  You would be surprised at how brave you truly are.

Day 79: Dead Week Day 1

      Green sweater, maxi skirt, brown shirt, TOMS, necklace.
      The week before finals is traditionally referred to as "dead week" to symbolize the studying done by the students and the slack that is given by the teachers.  This year, the teachers collectively decided to cancel dead week and make us learn, instead of letting us study for our finals.  Terrible.  Absolutely dreadful.  Its the end of the semester, I'm still shocked they haven't completely given up on us.  We're pretty hopeless.
      I'm stacked up to the ceiling with homework and studying, which is not fun, but at the same time, I'm not going to complain about it, and Ill tell you why.  I have a friend (who will remain nameless, actually lets call her Rose), Rose, who is a nice person in general.  The one thing I cant stand about Rose though is that when she has something on her mind, she shifts her personality and doesn't stop until you ask her what is the matter.  Times like finals week, she really starts to get on my nerves.  She acts all sad, mopey, and tired very obviously and dramatically in front of you, and when you ask her whats wrong she responds with, "Oh nothing, I just have sooooooooooo many things to do with finals and homework and of my classes blah blah..." and she lists off all of things she needs to do as if I care or something.  What Rosie needs to understand is that every person at Monte Vista is literally going through the exact same thing and she needs to suck it up and stop pitying herself and WORK.  She isn't any more special or different from the rest of us, no matter how high her invisible pedestal she has created for herself stands.  That's what the next two weeks of my life is about.  Work...

Day 78: Emotional Wreck

     Yellow skirt, sparkly sweater, black tights, oxfords.
     Sometimes, in life, something jumps out at you that you aren't prepared for.
     Here in the suburbs of the East Bay, life is generally predictable.  Even when something is surprising, you kind of could foreshadow what was going to come.  Every once in a while, something TRULY hits you as a pure shock and you don't know how to express your emotion.
     Lack of scary emotions is one of the many luxuries that the suburbs has to offer.
     When you become uncomfortable with an emotion, you develop stress.  Stress leads to acne, acne leads to judgement from your peers.  Basically, feeling nothing at all is a strong security blanket.  I wish I weren't such an emotional person.  I'm not going to bore you and turn this into my diary, but sometimes I wish I could.

Day 77: Pigs

     White shirt with sparkles, jeans, black TOMS.
     Today I dissected a baby pig fetus.  I just topped whatever YOU did today.
     In order to dissect a baby pig fetus, it must be preserved.  The liquid used to preserve this carcass is a dark yellow bath that smells like a mixture of enhanced apple juice and soy sauce mixed together.  Nauseating.
     After submerging my latex-gloved hands into the yellow juice, I removed the pig and placed it onto the dissecting tray.  I think it was the stench that really got me.  I mean, having to look into the eyes of a dead baby pig with its tiny, innocent tongue sticking out at me as I'm skinning it while prepping for muscle observation is bad enough, the added odor threw me overboard. 
     After an hour of careful cutting and a few close saves on my gag reflex, it was time for lunch.  Yes, lunch right after a slicing open of a dead animal.
     I didn't eat, obviously.  I was too grossed out.  Now I get to go back and do it tomorrow! Joy.
     From this pig Ive learned that I will never be a farmer, and that I will never think about bacon the same way again.  Though I'm never going to stop eating bacon, of course.  That would be simply moronic.  I once had a neighbor who owned a pig as a pet and never ate bacon because of it.  I never liked that neighbor...

Day 76: School Stinks

     White sweater, blue cami, black shorts, Uggs, black lace tights.
     Did you miss me?
     First day back after winter break... After seventeen days of complete freedom and stress-free living.  The day you come back from cold paradise hits you like a bullet.
     My alarm went off promptly at 6:24a.m. and the noise of the repeated beeps was possibly the harshest sound I have ever heard.  After attempting to rip my ears out, the reality set in that I had to get up and ready for the fate that awaited me in the hours to come.
     I put on makeup because I didn't want people to mistake me for an angry teenager, though I very much was, and I also managed to brush half of my hair without giving up.  The other half was beyond fixable, so I quickly gave up.
     I got in the car, which by the way was colder then the temperature outside, and began to drive into the darkening abyss. 
     From here my nightmare truly began.
     An entire day filled with LEARNING, as if we had the mental capacity to load stuff into our brain.
    

Happy New Year.

     It occurs to me that it is New Years.  New Years Eve is virtually the only holiday that is completely inescapable to the entire world.  I mean, its a new year, you have to pay a little attention to it.

     Its 12:51 on New Years morning, and I feel a little sad.  It could be in result of: (A) That I was alone on New Years Eve (partially by choice, but still seemingly upset about it), or;  (B) That 2011 is over.

     2011 treated me well.  I had many good times over the bad.  This year taught us that the Red Hot Chili Peppers will never die, that marriage seems to be more popular when in dissolves, and that Friday is a terrible and dreadful day.  Personally, however, it was splendid.  A lot of obstacles were overcome, and my tendency to be a dramatic teenager added to the success of getting over my endeavors.

     2012 will be even better, I'm sure of it.  Keeping my head held high.  And who knows, maybe next year Ill be kissed on New Years Eve instead of sitting on the couch watching the ball drop with my dog asleep in my lap.  That is, if the world hasn't ended by then.